The Problem with Passive Voice
This post is part of The Polished Sentences Series, focused on fixing common sentence-level issues and strengthening your writing one sentence at a time.
Passive voice occurs when a sentence hides or removes the person or thing performing the action. Instead of showing who is responsible, the sentence focuses on the result of the action. This structure is not always wrong, but it often creates sentences where the subject becomes unclear and the prose loses energy. Consider this example from the world of Hansel and Gretel:
Hansel and Gretel were led into the forest.
The sentence tells us what happened, but it hides an important detail. Who led them there?
Now compare it to a clearer version:
Their father led Hansel and Gretel into the forest.
The revision places the subject—the person performing the action—at the front of the sentence. The sentence becomes clearer and more direct.
Why Passive Voice Weakens Writing
Passive voice can create several problems. First, it hides responsibility. When the subject disappears, the reader may not know who performed the action. Second, it weakens the verb. Passive constructions rely on forms of the verb to be combined with a past participle, which often produces slower, less vivid sentences. Third, it creates distance. Instead of watching the action happen, the reader receives a summary of the result. When passive voice appears occasionally, it may be appropriate. But when it appears frequently, the writing begins to feel indirect and impersonal.
How Passive Voice Appears
Passive sentences often contain phrases like:
was given
was told
was warned
was taken
was locked
For example:
Gretel was locked inside the cage.
The witch locked Gretel inside the cage.
Or:
Breadcrumbs were dropped along the path.
Hansel dropped breadcrumbs along the path.
The revisions clarify who performed the action and create stronger movement within the sentence.
When Passive Voice Is Useful
Passive voice can be helpful when the person performing the action is unknown or unimportant.
For example:
The candy house was discovered deep in the forest.
Here the focus is on the discovery rather than who discovered it. But when the subject is known, the sentence usually becomes stronger by placing the subject first.
A Simple Editing Test
When revising your manuscript, look for phrases such as “was told,” “was given,” or “was taken.” Then ask: Who performed this action? If the answer is known, try rewriting the sentence so that the subject leads the sentence. Strong sentences show who acts. Passive sentences often hide it.